


Don't Take That Sinner from Me

by fledglingheart



Series: Key to the Soul [3]
Category: Far Cry (Video Games), Far Cry 5
Genre: Attempted Murder, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Torture, Judges are Giant Puppies, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Murder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-14
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-08-02 07:11:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16300454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fledglingheart/pseuds/fledglingheart
Summary: There were trials to overcome in any relationship, no matter how unconventional, but nobody can prepare for losing the man they love.Song used is Don't Take That Sinner from Me by The Civil Wars. Links in end notes.Sequel toSee My Dreams All DieandLove Where It Wasn't Supposed to Be





	Don't Take That Sinner from Me

“Sometimes I think this is a dream,” Staci stared up at the ceiling, head on Jacob’s chest, arm reaching up so nimble fingers could lace through untamed red hair. “You changed so fast. Starving me and treating me like… like a prisoner of war to – well, this is luxury.”

“I wanted to break you when I met you and I wanted to punish you when I fell in love with you,” Jacob looked down at him. Their eyes met.

“And now?”

“And now I want to fix what I broke. I was an idiot when I met you, blinded by anger; pain; fear. I was weak,” Jacob traced the lines of the wolf John had tattooed into Staci’s chest. His brother had been thrilled to have such a huge project, but then Jacob imagined any creative challenge was better than tattooing the same seven sins on every sheep in Joseph’s flock.

“You’ve never been weak Jacob. The voices in my head aren’t your fault: I was fucked before you sank your teeth into me,” Staci laughed. The ones that had tried to get between them were long dead or dying, victims of the creativity John channelled into his torture methods. “I love you, Jacob Seed. That’s all that matters now.”

Jacob took Staci’s left hand and kissed their wedding band. It had been an incredible day, truly the best day of his life. “I know. I’m going on a hunting trip with a few of my men, some to train and a few to actually restock what I know you’ve been treating the Judges with.” Staci had the decency to look sheepish while Jacob continued, “I’ve asked my brothers to check on you. I’m not sure when I’ll be back, either tonight or in the morning.”

“Tonight I hope,” Staci turned onto his belly, crawling up to kiss Jacob gently. “I hate sleeping without my husband.”

Gentle rapping on the door interrupted their moment, a message that the men were ready whenever their Master was. Jacob sighed, “I hate being away from you but duty calls. Just be here when I come back this time.”

Staci slapped Jacob’s chest, making him laugh and roll off the bed, “You’re such an ass.”

“An ass that you married,” Jacob kissed his pout. “Are you going to wave me off or stay here and sulk about Bambi again?” He barely dodged the pillow Staci tried to hit him with.

“That was one time! And I thought I’d killed a baby!” Staci laughed, “Why did I marry you? I want a divorce!” He tugged Jacob back down by his shirt for another kiss, “Go. Dick. Don’t get eaten by a bear.”

“I love you too, Peaches,” Jacob purred, kissing him goodbye and leaving before someone came looking for him. The pair still hadn’t passed the honeymoon stage of their marriage, but Jacob wasn’t sure they ever would, and he was okay with that. It brought him peace to know there was someone in his life that loved him blindly beyond how damaged he was; he hoped Staci felt the same comfort.

**_What happened to your faith, Staci Seed? Lost it when you stabbed your friends in the back? Married the enemy? Got on your knees to worship the devil?_** Madness was a difficult thing. Staci was coming to terms with the voice in his head that told him Jacob was a monster. Even on their best days it was a miracle for Staci not to have a moment lost in thoughts he didn’t believe. “Jacob loves me, and he’s not the devil.”

“Anyone ever tell you that’s a sign of madness?” John was leaning against the doorframe, watching his brother-in-law struggle with himself. In a way, Staci’s troubles helped him understand the Seed brothers, and each was grateful for it, though they hindered him when Jacob wasn’t there to chase the bad away.

Staci’s mouth turned up in a half smile, “Arguing with myself? Probably.” He walked past John, “Jacob found tea bags in one of the cabins. Share a pot with me?” It was a distraction, something to quiet the voice until they found a solution, not that he thought they would with a distinct lack of psychiatrists in Hope County. Even before the Seeds had laid their foundations, people tended to frown on things they didn’t understand.

“How did you cope with it before?” Fulfilling his role as Baptist, or as a brother, John was always there when Staci needed him, pushing for more when he didn’t think he’d go on. It was a contrast to the character he wore around the other members of the Project.

**_Faggot. Freak. Failure._** “I kept my mouth shut,” Staci filled a pan with hot water to boil over the stove. While they waited, he sat on the kitchen counter facing John. “I’m not an idiot. Jacob didn’t make me this way, _they_ did.”

Leaning against the counter, John considered Staci’s voluntary confessions. “Your problems come from the sins of others. You confess and cleanse and atone over and over again but you can’t make it stop because you didn’t make it start.”

Confession was voluntary for Staci, and watched carefully by Jacob. He was the exception to the rule; his pain temporary, his wounds shallow, his skin left intact. Joseph guided him under the gentle current and Jacob was the one to pull him from the waters. “You didn’t cut my sins out. You didn’t cut Jacob’s out.”

The water bubbled beside them, “I didn’t need to. You want to be a sinner because you want there to be a reason. There was no reason Staci, I can’t make those voices go away, only you can do that.”

**_They don’t want you. Precious Puppet Peaches dancing on his pretty strings. Tricking yourself or playing the fool?_** “I love Jacob. I love him more every day. I have faith in him.”

John patted Staci’s thigh and took over making the tea, “You don’t need to convince me that you’re free of sin, I took your confession. In time, you’ll find your peace. Have you spoken to Joseph about the voices?”

“A little. The Father thinks maybe there’s still a piece missing from God’s plans for me,” Staci reached up to a shelf and brought down the metal box they’d hidden the teabags in. Jacob didn’t want his men to be spoilt by luxuries, but he was willing to compensate protectively for Staci to have more than a few to occupy his time between training and hunts.

John hummed, ignoring the cups in favour of filling a flask with the aromatic fluid, “Whatever the solution is you won’t find it stuck here all day. Take a walk with me.”

Since the leaders of the Militia had been slaughtered, the Mountains had become safer for them to wander, especially with Judge escorts to scare away any uncharacteristically brave animals. It made hunting immeasurably easier, with less trampled terrain and safer hunting blinds Jacob had been able to secure up to triple the meat he had before. Unfortunately, that security bred mitigation of the standard measures and cracks appeared in the otherwise tightly knit defences Jacob guarded himself with. Distracted by his husband, Jacob had become lax with his hunters, delegating the work and disappearing to chase his own needs. Despite the extra work, after Staci had shown his dedication in doing what none of them had been able to do, the most loyal had taken the challenge in their stride.

Nevertheless, the cracks were there. Believing the last of the Militia were dying in holes trying to hold their own until they were hunted down in Jacob’s standard territory sweeps, nobody anticipated the knife in Jacob’s back. A cloth was pressed against Jacob’s nose and mouth, hoping to muffle and suffocate him while the knife twisted and withdrew. He wasn’t ready to die.

Whether it was intentional or not, Staci didn’t know, John had steered their walk towards the hunting grounds. Through positive reinforcement and extended training the Judges had started to regard Staci in the same way they regarded their Master so when they stumbled into the main camp a large wolf was the first to greet him, jumping up to lick at his chin and drag its teeth across the skin. “Hey,” Staci laughed, scratching through the thick fur around the wolf’s neck.

“Jacob took the river blind if you came to see him,” one of the hunters came over to pull the Judge back, nodding respectfully to John.

“Thanks. Let her follow me, she won’t bite,” Staci waved him away, continuing to pet the wolf. They followed the trail towards the river together, “I don’t know why Jacob doesn’t bring me on these hunting trips.”

“Because neither of you have been able to keep your hands off each other since the wedding,” John responded bluntly. He grinned at Staci’s shock, “I’m not my brother. Jacob is your husband so your desire isn’t baseless, and you’re both happier together.”

“That… that means a lot to me John, thank you,” Staci smiled at him. Both men froze when the Judge raised her hackles and drew her muzzle into a snarl. Pulling his gun first, Staci ran after the Judge to where Jacob was laying semi unconscious at the edge of the water. **_Dead. Someone shot the Devil down._** “Jacob… no, no you-” There were tracks, fresh, and the Judge kept running after them. John radioed the other hunters, racing to capture the attacker but Staci didn’t care for anything other than the body on the ground. His heart was wailing in his throat as he collapsed to his knees by his husband, putting pressure on the bleeding wound _just in case._ A wounded breath escaped Jacob’s body, though his eyes didn’t open. Staci picked up the radio, “Joseph, anyone at the Centre, Jacob’s been hurt. Attacked. He’s- there’s so much blood. Somebody help us. We’re at the river hunting blind, south of the-” Staci choked on his words, dropping the radio and hunching over to sob into Jacob’s shoulder. “Don’t leave me. You can’t leave me. I love you. Can’t do this without you.”

The response was fast. Time felt like a blur from the moment he was dragged away from the body to Joseph holding him in his arms, singing soothing hymns to distract him from the surgery Jacob was going through. They’d taken blood from Joseph and John almost as soon as they’d arrived, unwilling to take Staci’s in case it didn’t match or he went into shock, or worse. So Staci was lost in his nightmare of waiting. **_Tick tock. He’s going to die. Your fault. Should’ve been you. You’re next…_** _alive but he won’t wake up._ His head snapped up, “What did you say?”

“Jacob pulled through. He’s alive but he won’t wake up,” the surgeon, someone Staci had known once but couldn’t even attempt to remember now, assured him. “All we can do now is pray.”

Prayer wasn’t good enough. Staci was in no position to help them move Jacob from the operating table to the bedroom so he trailed behind. John touched his hip and whispered in his ear, “We caught the one that did this. I’ll keep them alive until you’re ready to see them suffer for their wrath.” No details, nothing Staci could use to picture the monster with. Maybe that was a good thing. Jacob looked almost peaceful laid in their bed, cleaned of blood and half naked, but he knew the signs of his husband’s pain. A small comfort that he really was alive, fighting to wake up. **_Fighting to escape you._** The surgeon was talking again, babbling about how to take care of him; it meant nothing to Staci. He crawled onto the bed beside Jacob, kissing his cheek. Joseph ushered people from the room.

Prayer still didn’t feel like the answer, hours later with a pale corpse in his arms. **_Not dead yet._** Not a corpse but as still as one. A vague memory of a film based on a book based on a semi true shit show ghosted through his mind. Sometimes talking helped bring them back, helped loved ones focus on waking up. Jacob had always loved his singing. Prayer didn’t feel like the answer but maybe it wasn’t far from it.

Wiping his tears, Staci cleared his throat and began a gentle crescendo in Jacob’s ear, oblivious to those listening outside the door, “Oh Lord, Oh Lord, what have I done? I’ve fallen in love with a man on the run. Oh Lord, Oh Lord, I’m begging you please, don’t take that sinner from me. Oh don’t take that sinner from me.” He hesitated, glancing at the piano – would the instrument help? Maybe, but Staci couldn’t bring himself to leave Jacob’s side. “Oh Lord, Oh Lord, what do I do? I’ve fallen for someone who’s nothing like you. He’s raised on the edge of the devil’s backbone. Oh I just wanna take him home, I just wanna take him home.”

_For all they talked, Staci knew nothing of Jacob’s life before the war beyond snippets of John and Joseph’s lives. It was frustrating that his fiancé knew everything Staci knew how to voice, and more that could never be put into words, about him but refused to return the luxury. When Peaches and the Wolf fought it was with merciless, biting words, quickly soothed by tender touches and promises for better. This fight was different, it threatened to break them. “Damn it Jacob, why won’t you let me know you?” Staci had started the fight. Jacob’s hands around his throat, squeezing until his vision blurred, ended it. He slowly slipped to the floor, chest heaving, “Jacob…” his voice was hoarse. Jacob had been the one to run that day._

“Oh Lord, Oh Lord, he’s somewhere between a hangman’s knot and three mouths to feed. There wasn’t a wrong or a right he could choose, he did what he had to do. Oh he did what he had to do.”

_Staci had forgiven Jacob before he’d even recovered, but Jacob struggled to accept what he’d almost done. A few more seconds, a tighter grip, away from killing the man he loved over insecurities Jacob had long buried deep. Jacob had always been a fast runner, but Staci’s lithe body was faster, making up for lost time in the chase. The sun was looming over the mountains, setting slowly, when Jacob heard the familiar tread approaching._

_“Don’t you dare run,” Staci leaned against the nearest tree and drank from his flask, escaping water droplets trailing down his bruised throat. When he was done, Staci offered it to Jacob, ignoring his refusals._

_“I could have killed you. I almost… I don’t want you to become Miller. I don’t think we should get married,” Jacob refused to face Staci, needing to keep his resolve intact._

_Sighing, Staci closed the space between them, wrapping his arms around Jacob’s waist and nuzzling the red stubble of his cheek, “Don’t you think that’s my choice to make this time? You stopped. I forgive you. Don’t- you can’t run from me. Not now. Please. You made me need you, can’t walk away from that ‘cause you lost your temper.”_

_Jacob turned his head slightly, “Every time I hurt you I hate myself for it.” He paused, looking up at the canopy, “I was born in Rome. It’s a city in Georgia. Was hard enough to take care of myself with the parents I had but when Joe and baby John came along…”_

They’d walked back to the Veteran’s Centre together, Jacob opening up about snippets of his life, the good, the bad, his hopes and dreams, his desperation for a legacy – for a family to pass that legacy on to. They’d always planned to address that situation eventually; they wanted to have a chance at happiness first before they committed to anything more than themselves. Staci’s tears stained the pillow as he continued, voice breaking, “Give me the burden. Give me the blame. I’ll shoulder the load and I’ll swallow the shame. Give me the burden. Give me the blame. How many, how many Hail Marys is it gonna take?”

_It was Staci’s own choice to kill his friends. Whitehorse and Hudson were easy, stumbling around with fresh bruises close enough to get their attention. A quiet moment alone and Jacob’s knife lodged deep into their necks, nobody had time to put things together with the Peggies attacking. Strategic assassination, he’d pitched to Jacob, desperate to prove himself to the family he intended to join; a twisted array of loyalty and love. The hardest challenge had been hunting down Rook. The former Probie wasn’t an idiot; they knew how to take care of themselves. Hell, they’d probably grown up navigating the wilderness like Staci had, but not the Mountains. That had been Staci’s domain even as a child, an advantage he used readily. He might have been young but he was strong for it. Fights with such gravity were always spectacles in horror flicks and hero movies, a bloody battle to the end with the victor escaping to normality. Reality was very different, sped up by knowledge of what bled out the fastest. The Deputy’s final gargles were anticlimactic at best. It was with humble pride that he dragged the body of the sinner home, and quiet resignation that he’d eliminated his final chance for escape._

Staci brushed his fingers through Jacob’s hair, combing the mess into a more familiar style, “Don’t care if he’s guilty; don’t care if he’s not. He’s good and he’s bad and he’s all that I’ve got.” He cupped Jacob’s cheek and leaned down to kiss warm lips, noting the way they moved with his own, “Oh Lord, Oh Lord, I’m begging you please, don’t take that sinner from me. Oh don’t take that sinner from me.” He slapped Jacob’s chest without any force, “How long have you been awake?”

Jacob hissed through a chuckle and opened his eyes, “Didn’t want to stop your beautiful singing voice.” He raised his hand to wipe Staci’s tears, “Crying for me already?”

“I thought I was going to lose you. I hate you sometimes,” Staci kissed him again, pulling back as their door opened. “I’m going to kill whoever did this.”

“I know,” Jacob closed his eyes to rest, knowing he was safe in the presence of his family.

As soon as the stitches had healed, a special trip was arranged to John’s personal bunker. Project members and converts alike cowered as Staci strode with rage through the corridors to his destination, a solitary cell where the occupant hung from the ceiling, half naked. Various tools of John’s trade were ready, waiting for a special kind of justice, but Staci raised the blade of his husband’s knife first, the glint in the dim light as threatening as the unbridled rage in his shining eyes. Jacob watched through John’s security cameras, enjoying Staci’s revenge. There wasn’t going to be much left in the end.

**Author's Note:**

> [Devil's Backbone ~ The Civil Wars](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTb6MoMLvcY)
> 
> [Devil's Backbone ~ The Civil Wars [Edited Audio - Male]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IHl1H1VECS8)


End file.
